Uncredited photo
Gay men living in the UK of the South Asian and other communities are being forced by their families into entering into forced marriages with women. Gay men born in those communities face the same pressures they would do were they in India or Pakistan to get married to a woman, while at the same time they are living in a liberal society which presents them with opportunities they would not get in India or Pakistan, for instance, to explore their sexuality and choose their own partner like anyone else. 15% of forced marriage cases being recorded concern gay men being forced into marriage. Source
Coming out to their families risks being rejected by their family and their own community unless they agree to get married to a woman and live a hidden, secret gay life. There has in the past been a suspicion that there have been honour killings of Asian gay men in the UK. To deny a gay man or lesbian the free choice of lifestyle and expression of his sexuality is a denial of his or her human rights.
It is possible to obtain a forced marriage protection order to protect you. A forced marriage protection order is issued by a court and stops people forcing you into a forced marriage. If they fail to comply with the order they can be sent to prison. Forced marriage orders were introduced by the provisions of the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 and became legal on 25 November 2008.
The Forced Marriages Unit of the Home Office reported a 65% increase in helpline calls from men, many of them linked to sexuality. In south Asian societies, being gay is a taboo beyond words. It is considered a betrayal: to yourself, your family, your friends, and of course, your community, that is to say, your roots and your culture. You may wonder where religion exerts its influence on all this. Hinduism and Buddhism have surprisingly little to say about sexual plurality, and they don’t really care much if you’re gay. If you’re Muslim, as a significant proportion of the south Asian diaspora are, then, the common interpretation is that it is un-Islamic (some would even say anti-Islamic) to be gay. Indeed, beyond forced marriages, honour killings, especially directed against women, are not uncommon.
In July 2011 the organisation Plan UK reported that some families of LGBT young people try to force them into marriage because of fears about their sexuality and that the Forced Marriage Unit is reporting a growing number of calls from young LGBT people.
Breaking Vows Report (downloads pdf file)
On October 12th, 2011 the UK Supreme Court threw out an outright ban on the provision of marriage visas for those under 21, on the grounds that the ban had prevented couples who were not in a forced marriage situation, from marrying, in denial of their human rights. Source
As gay activists and gay brothers and sisters we need to:
understand the dilemmas faced by gay men and lesbians of these communities,
examine our own attitudes, policies and groups to ensure they welcome Asians,
listen to the stories and experiences of our South Asian friends to learn from them,
support them in their work towards better understanding, tolerance and acceptance in their own communities as well as in ours,
follow the guidance now published (links below).
The Naz Foundation assists Asian gay men and lesbians.
Additional information on forced marriages:
Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007
The Mens Advice Line: The Men’s Advice Line is available on freephone number 0808 801 0327 (free from landlines and most mobile phones)
Monday – Friday 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm. Or email info@mensadviceline.org.uk. The Men’s Advice Line is funded by the Home Office and the Scottish Government.
Home Office Forced Marriage Unit 020 7008 0151.
Men’s Advice Line Booklet (Opens as pdf file)
Page updated and links checked 20 May 2012
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