Photo by James Estrin, New York Times
Pick up any gay magazine and you would be forgiven for thinking that older gay men and lesbians did not exist. The commercial “gay scene” is focused on young and financially active people. There are many gay men and lesbians of all age groups in the gay community. Gay men and lesbians face additional discrimination and problems in retirement and old age, compared to heterosexual citizens. The focus on youth in mainstream gay society is so powerful that the main work in this field has been done by the charity Age UK which operates in the wider community and is trying to attract gay men and lesbians into its work and forums.
For many years the Gay Bereavement Project was the only project that helped bereaved gay and lesbian partners. It was founded by the late Dudley Cave to assist the many members of the gay community who met their partner during World War II, but who now had been bereaved, had never experienced the gay scene or gay community, and found themselves suddenly alone and unable to cope, back into society. The GBP’s concept of assigning a friend to each client was the model used by early HIV services who assigned a “buddy” to help clients cope with the many changes to their life.
Issues facing Older Lesbians, Gay Men and Bisexuals (Downloads Age Concern PDF)
What are the additional problems faced by older gay men and lesbians?
They are more isolated in old age than heterosexual people of the same age. They meet more discrimination in housing, welfare, healthcare. They often have no relatives or friends to visit, support and help them, and are often not known to social services and other organizations.
Many gay and lesbian senior citizens did not take the risk of coming out to their families and friends and remain in the closet.
Gay men and lesbians who have been living in a committed relationship for many years and who are now ageing have not enjoyed the same rights given to heterosexual couples during the same time. Until recently their relationship was not recognized or valued legally, so they may have problems with pensions, life insurance, benefits and housing unless they have been able to register their partnership. If they have registered their partnership they will need to make new wills.
Even if there are family and friends, they may have difficulty accepting the relationship and lack awareness or a sense of knowing intuitively when and how to intrude and offer help. The total lack of acknowledgement of the relationship’s importance leads to problems at death and bereavement, and severe loneliness leading to depression for the surviving, isolated partner.
Living as a couple for many years without the benefits of marriage has left many older gay men and lesbians in financial difficulties, or dependent on their pension and any additional benefit. Many are struggling with household bills, household repairs, lack of access to transport and recreation facilities. Many are reluctant to approach organizations such as Meals on Wheels or attend day centres because they will feel out of place. They are more likely to be living in poverty or deprivation than other old people of the same age.
Stonewall conducted research amongst its supporters to discover what services and provision they required in old age. Unsurprisingly many replied that they would prefer to live somewhere safe among other gay men and lesbians so that they could enjoy their retirement without worry. There are currently few such facilities. Organisations have not begun to understand the needs let alone provide the services that older gay men and lesbians already need.
Further research by Stonewall and YouGov published in September 2011 revealed that there are a million lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain over the age of 55. Older gay and bisexual men are three times more likely to be single than heterosexual men.
Just over a quarter of gay and bisexual men and half of lesbian and bisexual women have children compared with almost nine in every ten straight men and women. They were less likely to see biological family members regularly; less than a quarter of LGB people see their biological family members at least once a week, compared with more than half of straight people.
LGBT people are consistently more anxious about growing older than straight people, are more likely to rely on formal support services as they get older, nearly twice as likely to rely on external services such as GPs and social services as heterosexual people. But many worried that the services would not meet their needs. Three in five are not confident that support services will meet their needs.
72% of LGB people said they were worried about the prospect of needing care later in life, compared with 62% of heterosexual people. Half said they were worried about housing compared with 39% of heterosexual people while 69% were worried about their health compared with 59% of heterosexual people. Their fears are compounded by their lifestyles. Gay people are far more likely to drink alcohol regularly, take drugs and have a history of mental health problems than heterosexual people.
Recently there has been considerable research into older citizens generally in which they were asked themselves how they could avoid being abused or finding their rights compromised in care as they aged. Generally speaking as people get older they find that many of the important decisions about their lives and care are made for them by younger people who do not see the older people as being capable of making decisions, having their own plans and priorities, and needs. Researchers found that staying in their own homes, mobile, with good access to public transport, and remaining in control of their money, enabled older people to continue to function fully in society as citizens in charge of their own affairs and making their own decisions.
The way forward
We can all help to end this discrimination and isolation of senior citizens in our community. We can do this by:
valuing the partners contribution to the relationship;
not making assumptions that the person has lost only one life partner;
fighting isolation and prejudice;
providing the couple with information and help as needed;
ensuring the couple are receiving their full entitlement of rights and benefits of society;
including older gay people in groups within wider society;
being aware of older LGBTI people within our communities, accepting them as neighbours, with their consent befriending them and looking out for their safety and security;
involving the gay community in the design, redesign and modernisation of care facilities and services;
having a greater understanding of the needs of all older members of society, gay and straight, so that their care is relevant, appropriate and affirming;
helping older gay men and lesbians re-integrate into the wider society as they wish to enable better understanding of their needs and improve appropriate services and facilities;
building community relationships between care facilities and services and the older LGBTI community;
ensuring staff working in gay businesses are aware of the needs of older customers and provide appropriate levels of supervision and care of them while they are on the premises.
This charity has published advice for those experiencing problems caused by the lack of legal recognition of relationships. The first of its kind, and written with help from experts at Stonewall, this Age UK information sheet provides essential information on important social and financial issues. It includes topics like property inheritance, partnership rights, pension provision and wills, care services at home and finding housing and residential care. It will also give current information on new legislation and developments like civil partnerships and proposed new mental capacity laws. As such, it is a valuable resource for those in later life and those keen to plan, as well as those providing support and advisory services.
The Alzheimers Society’s LGBT Support Group provides help and information to gay and lesbian persons who find themselves carers, and for other persons to have to care for gay men and lesbians. You can speak to a gay or lesbian person for advice.
Ageing Issues Network, US
The Lesbian and Gay Aging Issues Network of the American Society on Aging has good articles.
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, US
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (USA) began their initiative of research and education on gay and lesbian aging issues in 2000.
The Employment Equality (Age) Regulations 2006 have been passed and came into effect in Autumn 2006.
Gay men over the age of 50 who are reading this page are strongly recommended to also read our information about Prostate Cancer.
Page updated 5 May 2012
SP
