Age
Pick up any gay magazine and you would be forgiven for thinking that older gay men and lesbians did not exist. The commercial “gay scene” is focused on young and financially active people. There are many gay men and lesbians of all age groups in the gay community. We have only just begun to realize the additional discrimination and problems gay men and lesbians face in retirement and old age.
For many years the Gay Bereavement Project was the only project that helped bereaved gay and lesbian partners. It was founded by the late Dudley Cave to assist the many members of the gay community who met their partner during World War II, but who now had been bereaved, had never experienced the gay scene or gay community, and found themselves suddenly alone and unable to cope, back into society. The GBP’s concept of assigning a friend to each client was the model used by early HIV services who assigned a “buddy” to help clients cope with the many changes to their life.
The focus on youth in mainstream gay society is so powerful that the most recent work in this field has been done by the charity Age Concern, which operates in the wider community, and is trying to attract gay men and lesbians into its work and forums.
What are the additional problems faced by older gay men and lesbians? They face more problems related to ageing than heterosexuals.
They are more isolated in old age than heterosexual people of the same age. They meet more discrimination in housing, welfare, healthcare. They often have no relatives or friends to visit, support and help them, and are often not known to social services and other organizations.
Gay men and lesbians who have been living in a committed relationship for many years and who are now ageing have not enjoyed the same rights given to heterosexual couples during the same time. Until recently their relationship was not recognized or valued legally. That means they may have problems with pensions, life insurance, benefits and housing unless they have been able to register their partnership. If they have registered their partnership they will need to make new wills.
Even if there are family and friends, they may have difficulty accepting the relationship and lack awareness or a sense of knowing intuitively when and how to intrude and offer help. The total lack of acknowledgement of the relationship’s importance leads to problems at death and bereavement, and severe loneliness leading to depression for the surviving, isolated partner.
Living as a couple for many years without the benefits of marriage has left many older gay men and lesbians in financial difficulties, or dependent on their pension and any additional benefit. Many are struggling with household bills, household repairs, lack of access to transport and recreation facilities. Many are reluctant to approach organizations such as Meals on Wheels or attend day centres because they will feel out of place. They are more likely to be living in poverty or deprivation than other old people of the same age.
Stonewall conducted research amongst its supporters to discover what services and provision they required in old age. Unsurprisingly many replied that they would prefer to live somewhere safe among other gay men and lesbians so that they could enjoy their retirement without worry. There are currently few such facilities. Organisations have not begun to understand the needs let alone provide the services that older gay men and lesbians already need.
The way forward.
We can all help to end this discrimination and isolation of senior citizens in our community. We can do this by:
valuing the partners contribution to the relationship
fighting isolation and prejudice
providing the couple with information and help as needed
ensuring the couple are receiving their full entitlement of rights and benefits of society
helping older gay men and lesbians re-integrate into the wider society as they wish to enable better understanding of their needs and improve appropriate services and facilities
This charity has published advice for those experiencing problems caused by the lack of legal recognition of relationships. The first of its kind, and written with help from experts at Stonewall, this Age Concern information sheet provides essential information on important social and financial issues. It includes topics like property inheritance, partnership rights, pension provision and wills, care services at home and finding housing and residential care. It will also give current information on new legislation and developments like civil partnerships and proposed new mental capacity laws. As such, it is a valuable resource for those in later life and those keen to plan, as well as those providing support and advisory services.
The Alzheimers Society’s Gay and Lesbian Carers Network provides help and information to gay and lesbian persons who find themselves carers, and for other persons to have to care for gay men and lesbians. You can speak to a gay or lesbian person for advice.
Ageing Issues Network, US
The Lesbian and Gay Aging Issues Network of the American Society on Aging has good articles.
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, US
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (USA) began their initiative of research and education on gay and lesbian aging issues in 2000.
The Employment Equality (Age) Regulations 2006 have been passed and came into effect in Autumn 2006.
Text revised and links last checked 12 December 2008
